A Hand to Hold
by AnnCarter
Summary: "You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold." Even the Doctor needs a hand to hold. Lucky he ran into Rose Tyler. Basically a missing scene in the end of 2x11, "Fear Her".


_All rights for Doctor Who are the BBC's. I own nothing._

* * *

"Run," He whispered as he took her hand for the first time, and since that day he's never let it go.

* * *

There was no one who knew loneliness like him. Not even the Isolus, who was used to travel with his four billion brothers and sisters for thousands of years. Not even he knew loneliness the way the Doctor did; as _well_ as the Doctor did. He was the definition of lonely.

When he saw the Isolus, his hearts ached for him. There he was, another alien without a home or a family, stuck on this tiny little planet - that no matter how much he loved, was still nothing like his home - with no way back. And he was in worse situation than he was, too; it was just a child. He couldn't imagine how he'd have felt if he were a child stuck so far from home. From his people. From his family.

From Gallifrey.

"Fear, loneliness," He said as he assembled the detector. "They're the big ones, Rose. Some of the most terrible acts ever committed have been inspired by them." Moving towards the other side of the console to pick up another part, he added, "We're not dealing with something that wants to conquer or destroy." _It's just a child._ "There's a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive," He gestured towards the consoles, "Wormhole refractors. You know the thing you need most of all?" His voice turned somewhat softer. "You need a hand to hold."

 _You need to not be alone._

Somehow - he wasn't sure how - she seemed to understand.

* * *

"Um, one more thing, Rose..." He stopped her as she turned to help the people of the street clear the tables outside. She turned to look at him questioningly. "Thank you."

She smiled at him, her signature smile that he loved so much. "No probs," She said, still smiling, before turning away again.

"I mean..." He took a breath as she turned to look at him again, looking slightly puzzled, "I mean, not just about today," He finished somewhat lamely, unhappy with his own words. She frowned, looking unsure whether she was confused or amused, but he hurried to add, "I was thinking about the Isolus."

She stepped closer to him before gently taking his hand with hers. She didn't even seem to notice she did it. "What about him?" She asked softly, curiosity shining in her eyes.

"This," He replied simply, lifting their joined hands as he held onto hers tightly. "What I said when we were in the TARDIS... I meant it. I, of all people, should know that." His voice turned slightly darker. "Fear made the Time Lords nearly rip time and space apart during the Time War. And loneliness..." He hesitated. "Loneliness made me the man I was when we met."

"You weren't a bad man," She said softly, squeezing his hand gently. "You were... You _are_ ," She corrected quietly, "The best man I've ever known."

He shook his head slightly. "The thing is... everyone needs to have someone. A hand to hold. Someone to hug them and promise everything will be alright. And after the Time War..." He trailed off, seeing the understanding and support in her eyes. He didn't know how she did it, but she managed to understand how he felt and what he wanted to say even though she hasn't gone through the things he's gone through. Somehow, she managed to understand the depth of his feelings even when he couldn't quite grasp it. "I was so alone, Rose." His voice turned quieter and full of pain. "I've never been so alone in my entire life. I always knew that even when I was away, Gallifrey... The Time Lords... They were all still there. And then..." His look turned somewhat distant. "It was so lonely."

"'Feels like there's no one'," She quoted quietly and he smiled at how she remembered it from Van Statten's museum.

"Yeah," He agreed. "Feels like there's no one."

"Good thing I'm here, then." She smiled at him again and he couldn't help but smile back at her. "And I'm here to stay, Doctor." Her eyes held a silent promise as she looked at him seriously. _I'll never leave,_ they seemed to be telling him.

His free hand gently cupped her cheek as he looked into her eyes, trying to express his gratitude without saying a word. _Where would I have been without her?_ He found himself wondering. Not that he wanted an answer to that question. But as usual, he couldn't help but wonder. _Where would I have been if it weren't for Rose Tyler?_

"That's the thing, Rose," He found himself saying. "I was so alone before I met you. And I thought..." His thumb gently caressed her cheek, "I thought I'd never stop feeling like that. But I did. When I said all you need - all anyone needs - is a hand to hold... I wasn't talking about the Isolus."

"I know," She said softly. "I didn't think you were."

He smiled. "Brilliant Rose Tyler," He said, still grinning. His hand left her cheek. "How do you always know what I mean?"

She grinned back at him. "I just do."

He shook his head slightly in disbelief before hugging her tightly. She hugged him back, her hands wrapped around his neck as his nose gently nudged hers. She giggled in his ear, which made him burst out laughing as he lifted her up slightly, spinning around.

"Thank you," He whispered when he put her back down.

"Thank _you_ ," She whispered back. He shook his head again, still holding her tightly, before pressing his lips against her neck. There was no way else he could communicate his feelings to her, not that moment and those feelings; it was too much for words. Her arms, wrapped around him, and the gentle kiss she pressed against his shoulder, told him she understood.

Pulling back, he grinned again and took her hand. "Cake?" He suggested, pulling a cupcake out of his pocket. He intended to keep it for later - edible ball bearings plus banana? His new favourite thing in the universe - but seeing her smile, he couldn't help but give it to her.

She laughed, already knowing what he was thinking. "Are you sure?" She asked as she took it.

"Yeah." He sniffed it, feeling slight disappointment as he realised it didn't have any banana in it. "That one doesn't taste like banana anyway."

She burst out laughing. "So, the Olympics?" She asked before taking a bite.

Seeing her eyes sparkling happily, he grinned widely. "The Olympics," He confirmed, pulling her after him back to the TARDIS.

* * *

When he took her hand that afternoon, he had no idea how different his life was about to be. He didn't regret it, not even for a single moment. On the contrary; he knew if it were up to him, her hand was the only one he wanted to hold for the rest of his life.


End file.
